Breakfast Foods Recipes

Green Eggs & Spam

A Dr. Seuss-derivative & kid-friendly dish for kids (& adults).

This is the first of a few modern-day “no-no” processed meat recipes I will be posting in the coming weeks, so brace yourselves.

I’m going back to my food roots.

I have always been drawn to nitro-, sulfite-, preservative-packed meat products. Hot dogs, Steak-umms, deviled ham, bacon, Jimmy Dean sausages, Spam, bologna, that bologna stuff studded with olives. Pretty much anything with the Oscar Mayer logo stamped on it.

I was a really skinny kid. Thinking back, I wonder if my parents bought this food thinking it might fill me out a bit. All that and Little Debbie snacks. Zebra Cakes were my favorite. Anyone else? Any Nutty Butty fans out there? Try putting those in the freezer if you haven’t already, by the way.

Of course, I’m kidding about the trying to fatten me up part.

As an adult I still have the same salty, faux-meat cravings. And I let myself give into them – not all the time, but every so often.

I think of green eggs and spam the same way I think of egg in a hole or Micky Mouse-shaped pancakes. It’s a fun breakfast food that (I imagine) may appeal to kids.

But let’s get real – wouldn’t we all pick this off a menu in a heartbeat, if only because of the name? Some foods can be super nostalgic. And as adults, most of us love to eat what we ate as kids.

I loved Green Eggs & Ham as a kid because it was about weird food. And who would’ve thought that would carry through to adulthood!

So this recipe hits home for me big time. I hope you like it.

I N G R E D I E N T S

Serves 1.

  • 1 / 4 can Spam, sliced thinly

F o r  t h e  E g g s

  • 2 eggs
  • 1 teaspoon half & half
  • 1 teaspoon sour cream or crème fraiche
  • Pinch of salt
  • Pinch of pepper
  • 1 tablespoon butter

F o r  t h e  S a u c e

  • 4 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 / 2 scallion, chopped
  • 2 tablespoons chives, chopped
  • 2 tablespoons parsley, chopped
  • 2 tablespoons basil, chopped
  • Pinch of salt
  • Pinch of pepper

D I R E C T I O N S

  1. Whisk the egg ingredients except for the butter. Set aside.
  2. In a blender or food processor, pulse the sauce ingredients until completely incorporated. Pour the sauce into the egg mixture and whisk.
  3. Take the sliced Spam and pan-fry on medium heat for 2 to 3 minutes on each side, flipping once. Set aside.
  4. In the same pan, melt the butter on low heat. Add the egg mixture, stirring slowly with a wooden spoon until the eggs begin to set. Right before they are fully cooked and still a little soupy, plate the scrambled eggs.
  5. Plate the Spam slices on top of the green eggs. Sprinkle with chives or any other green herbs you have on hand.

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